


Warners for Hire

by roidadidou



Category: Animaniacs, Pinky and the Brain
Genre: Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Family Drama, Family Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-05 22:57:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10319186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roidadidou/pseuds/roidadidou
Summary: Formatted like an episode. Yakko, Wakko, and Dot hire Pinky and the Brain to be their temporary parents for the sake of getting into a scary movie.





	

Everyone knew that nighttime was the best time to see movies. And as three young children waited in line for their tickets, they chatted about the movie they would be seeing.  


“I heard that you can see her heart pumping after the monster rips it out of her!” Dot said, wiggling the fingers on her raised hands for effect.  


“Well, I heard that, every day after they were done filming, everyone had to watch cartoons to get the images of mutilations out of their heads!” Yakko replied, a devious smile on his face. Wakko remained silent, chewing his nails.  


They reached the front of the line.  


“Three tickets for _The Final Scream 4: The Cash-Grab, _please,” Yakko asked politely. The attendant shook his head.  
__

“I’m sorry, that movie is PG-13.”  


Yakko rested his elbow on the counter snidely.  


“Excuse me, but I’m a whole _fourteen _years old, and these are my younger siblings.” The cashier shrugged, as if he took pity on them but was unable to do anything about it.  
__

“I’m sorry again, Sir, but you’ll need an adult with you to see that movie.”  


Yakko pulled his arm away, getting frustrated.  


“Fine! We’ll just go, then.” And they left.  
______  


A very tall, very inconspicuous individual entered the ticket line. He wore a full-body trenchcoat. The cashier’s eyebrow raised as he reached the front of the line.  


“Thr- I mean, one ticket for _The Final Scream 4, _please,” He said in an artificially deep voice. The cashier slowly, hesitantly took their money, pulling three tickets from the roll.  
__

“E-... Enjoy the movie, Sir,” He said politely, yet timidly.  


“Thank you,” said the man again, taking the tickets and walking towards the theater. However, as he walked, he tripped on his trenchcoat, and three children came tumbling out. The cashier left his ticket stand, standing over the Warners who were regaining their composure. He took their tickets from Dot’s outstretched hand, slapping the money back into her palm and angrily stomping back to his register.  


“Did all three of us have to be in the trenchcoat?” Yakko asked, rubbing his forehead.  
______  


The three siblings huddled in a group, plotting.  


“How are we supposed to get in?” Dot asked. Yakko snapped his fingers.  


“If we can’t disguise ourselves as adults, we’ll just have to bring some with us.” He said.  


“But who would pretend to be our parents?” Wakko inquired.  


“Well, who at the studio has actually had children?”  


“Marita and Flavio?” Asked Dot.  


“No… Too campy.” Yakko said, rubbing his chin.  


“Slappy Squirrel?” Asked Wakko.  


“No… There’s no way she’d say yes. Wait! I’ve got just the couple.” He pulled Wakko and Dot closer, explaining his plan.  
______ 

Along the streets of the Warner Brothers studio stood many parked trailers. Each was the temporary residence for actors and crew members. The smallest, however, housed two mice, who sat in their trailer between daily takes of their television show.  


“Poit! Brain, I’ve been thinking.” Pinky stated, holding a magazine over his head to read it.  


“I’ll call Fox News.” Brain replied bluntly as he poured stale coffee into his mug.  


“If we had another baby, and his belly button was an outtie, would you still love him?” Pinky turned towards Brain, swaying his legs innocently.  


“If his navel is an ‘outtie,’ he’s going ‘outtie’ to the trash,” Brain finished, a sour look on his face from the coffee.  


Pinky nodded thoughtfully, turning back to his magazine. Suddenly, there came a knock on their very tiny door, gently rocking their trailer. As Brain opened the door, he saw a black eye and a red nose.  


“Smakko?” Brain asked.  


“It’s ‘Yakko.” The eldest Warner replied. Pinky and Brain filed out of the trailer, seeing the three children towering over them.  


“We need a favor.” Yakko stated.  


“We wanna see a scary movie, but we’re not old enough to buy the tickets!” Dot explained.  


“Shouldn’t kids your age be watching… What’s his name… Bobby the Sponge?” Brain said tiredly, swishing the coffee around in his cup.  


“Look, Brain, we’re paying for the movie. We just need you to pretend to be our parents.”  


Pinky clapped his hands in elation, gently shaking Brain’s arm.  


“Oh, Brain, we need to help them! Poor babies! Narf!” Brain shook his head.  


“No, no. You’re asking us for this, and then once we give it to you, you’ll keep asking us for more favors. We have plans today!” He waved his mug as he talked, coffee splashing out without being missed.  


“We can’t be responsible for those… Miniature heathens! When they end up breaking things and vandalizing property and harming individuals, which will happen, who’s going to pay reparations?”  


“Mr. Plotz!” Came four replies. Brain froze, in thought.  


“Ugh… Alright. Give us ten minutes, and we’ll take you to the theater.”  
_______  


The cashier, with a smile on his face, handed two tickets to a lovely couple. His smile disappeared as he saw the next group in line.  


“I’ve told you, you can’t see the movie without an a-”  


Yakko held a finger to his lips.  


“A-ah-ah, we’ve brought our parents this time.” The cashier raised his eyebrows passively, but was pleasantly surprised when Dot lifted Pinky and Brain to the counter. Both were donned in costumes that imitated the regular television parents; Brain wore glasses, a sweater vest, and khakis. Pinky tied back non-existent hair with a yellow bandana that matched the color of his dress.  


“Five for… _The Finnish Cream, _please,” Brain said confidently, placing the money on the counter. The attendant blinked, then pulled five tickets from the roll.  
__

“Enjoy the movie,” he replied. Pinky waved, and the picture-perfect family happily escorted themselves to the theater.  


The middle of the movie was filled with terror and screaming, and the screen was perpetually red. While Yakko and Dot happily munched on their popcorn, occasionally flinching from the jumpscares, Wakko trembled in his seat, barely able to sip his soda. Pinky and Brain, finding the movie boring, whispered concernedly to each other about the boy’s wellbeing.  
_______  


The Warners, for once, were still. Their triple-decker bed was filled on all three layers. Quiet snores and sighs sifted through the air, but the top bunk was tense and stressed. Wakko was asleep, but barely, his mind plagued with the monsters and dismemberments from the movie he’d seen earlier. He was pleasantly surprised when his nightmares were replaced by the black void of his eyelids.  


“Wakko? Wakko, honey, wake up.” He opened his eyes, seeing his temporarily-hired parents from earlier standing on his stomach. Pinky was ringing his hands nervously, Brain standing behind him.  


“Are you alright? You were having a nightmare, poit.” Pinky commented quietly. Wakko rubbed the grit from his eyes.  


“How did you know? Didn’t you go home after the movie?” The boy slurred groggily.  


“We noticed that you were unnerved by the movie’s needless violence. We were just making sure you were alright.” Brain said, stepping forward.  


“Oh. Well… Thanks.”  


His parents-for-hire nodded in approval, heading for the bed’s ladder.  


“Wait,” Wakko interrupted, holding out his hand. The mice stopped.  


“Can… Can you stay with me? Until I fall asleep again.”  


Pinky smiled sweetly at Brain, and they remained on Wakko’s bunk, talking to him calmly until he fell back to sleep.  
_______  


It isn’t often that the smell of a good breakfast is powerful enough to wake the Warners, but this time, it was. Red noses twitching, the three of them sat up, crawling down their ladder to see what was sending that delightful aroma through the water tower. Upon entering the kitchen, all three of them stood in amazement. Pinky and Brain had prepared a hot breakfast for them. The bacon, eggs and pancakes were all being poured, cooked and cut into the shapes of hearts and smiling faces and Mickey Mouse heads.  


“Narf! Good morning, babies!” Pinky waved excitedly as the children sat down at the table. While Dot and Yakko were bewildered, Wakko was drooling in excited impatience as he rapped his fingers on the table.  


“As the youth of America might say, ‘check this, homies.’” Brain said with a monotone that didn’t match his statement. He held his hands up, one eye squinting, using his pointer fingers and thumbs to frame the table. Mumbling numbers to himself, he placed his foot on the handle of a pan containing a stack of pancakes. Pinky climbed onto the table, raising a dish above his head. Brain slammed his foot down, sending the pancakes into the air. With a satisfying ‘splat,’ they hit the dish, that Pinky set down on the table. The eggs and bacon soon followed on other platters.  


With very grateful ‘thank yous,’ the Warners dug into their breakfast.  


With a mouthful of pancake, Dot innocently asked “How come you stayed to make us breakfast?”  


“Don’t chew with your mouth full,” Brain commented.  


Dot gulped her food down. “Sorry.”  


“You three live up here in the water tower, all alone,” Pinky said, “We just assumed you hadn’t had a homemade breakfast in a while!”  


The siblings looked among each other happily, maybe considering asking their temporary parents for a few more favors.  
______  


As Pinky and Brain headed towards the door of the Water Tower, Dot halted them.  


“Thank you for the meal,” She said sweetly.  


“It was no trouble at all.” Brain said, a rare smile on his face. Wakko appeared behind them.  


“We were wondering, if… You might be our parents again, for another day or two.” He twiddled his thumbs.  


Brain was hesitant.  


“I remember the deal we made, Wakko. We would pretend to be your parents just for the sake of getting you into that movie. That was it. Our job is done.”  


The taller mouse nudged his elbow.  


“They don’t have any parents, Brain! Troz! They’re not used to being taken care of.”  


The megalomaniac set the back of his hands on his hips.  


“I suppose…”  


“Great!” Wakko replied. Yakko joined them.  


“We have to film some cartoons today, but we’ll see you after!”  


“Have a good day, sweeties!” Pinky called as they left the water tower.  
______  


“Well, sibs, it looks like we’ve found today’s Special Friend,” Yakko said to his siblings, who were currently bothering a politician at his desk.  


“Please, children, I have plenty of work to do today-”  


“What are all these papers for?” Dot said, picking up a stack and throwing them into the air as she read through them. The politician stood, scrambling to pick them all up.  


“Those are very important! Put those down!”  


“Are you the big bad man who cut all the funding to restoring the Burbank’s town park?” Wakko interrogated.  


The politician innocently held the crumpled papers to his chest.  


“Well, y-yes, but budget cuts had to be made, so we chose to take funding from the least important things first-”  


“What a smart guy! He’s a genius!” Yakko interrupted, waving his arms.  


“I’ve got your reward for your smarty smarts, right here!” Wakko said cheerfully, pulling a wrapped present from hammerspace. Dropping his papers, the politician happily grabbed the present. Pulling the top off, and looking inside, he was ecstatic to pull out the gift. But as he pulled out a ticking time bomb, a still image of a lollipop appeared over his face, engraved with the big bold word of ‘SUCKER.’  


Suddenly, a tiny pink hand appeared from off-screen, pulling the bomb away. The disembodied hand replaced the bomb with a confetti bomb, and when the fuse ended, the politician was covered in glitter and streamers. The Warners were angry to have their prank ruined.  


“Hey! What gives!” Dot shouted. Looking for the intruder, they saw Pinky, licking his thumb and putting out the flame on the fuse of the regular bomb. Standing next to him was Brain, with his arms crossed.  


“How rude! We didn’t raise you children to treat members of our local government like that!” Brain scolded.  


“But-” The Warners tried to defend themselves, to no avail.  


“No buts! Now, apologize to that poor man! He’s just trying to do his job, narf!”  


The Warners, in a row of three, held their heads in shame.  


“We’re sorry…” They said in unison.  


“Good. Now, come along. This discussion isn’t over!” Pinky said, with the voice of a disciplinary mother, that could strike guilt into even the baddest of problem children. Like ducks in a row, the confused politician watched the family leave his office.  
______  


The sun was barely up when Yakko’s alarm clock struck six. The alarm rang in a rhythmic buzz, until Yakko slammed his closed fist on the snooze button.  


“Wait.” He said, lifting his head from the pillow.  


“We don’t have an alarm clock.” He discovered. The three siblings shielded their eyes as their bedroom light switched on and off.  


“Get up, get up, get up!” Pinky yelled.  


“Time for school!”  


The Warners sat up, rubbing their eyes and grumbling.  


As they brushed their teeth and hair and got dressed, they were regretting their collective decision to continue bothering the lab mice for favors.  


They headed towards the door, but were halted by Brain.  


“You’re leaving?” He said. The siblings blinked.  


“Uhh, yeah. You told us to.” Yakko replied passively.  


“Dressed like that?” Brain said, his eyes judging them from above their bifocals.  


“What’s wrong with our outfits?” Wakko asked.  


“Well, first of all, Dot and Yakko aren’t wearing shirts. But Pinky sewed you some lovely sweaters, that you’re going to wear, and be thankful for.”  


The two of them turned their heads to see Pinky holding up two sweaters, or at least trying to. They were knitted in ugly, garish colors, with their names printed on them. The siblings looked at each other with cringing faces.  


“And, Wakko, you’re not wearing any pants.” Brain finished.  


“Oh, don’t worry about me!” He said, hiking up his shirt. He, in fact, was wearing incredibly short denim shorts. Sequins were sewn onto the pockets. Brain jutted out his jaw, looking towards the camera.  
_______  


“Ms. Flamiel?” Wakko asked, raising his hand. Their teacher turned from the board, to look at her students. The children sat in their desks, in a row of three. Yakko and Dot were donned in their sweaters, occasionally itching at the rough wool or pulling at their collars.  


“Yes, Wakko?”  


“May I use the restroom?”  


“You have five minutes.”  


Getting up from his chair, he performed the walk of shame, pulling the wedgie from his plaid sweatpants that hugged his waist tightly, but hung around his ankles.  
_______  


As they arrived home, drudging their feet in their wallowing depression, what they saw was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  


“Hi, babies! How was school?” Pinky asked, as he dumped the Warner’s snacks and desserts into the trash.  


“What are you doing?!” Wakko asked, horribly shocked.  


“Oh, I’m helping you eat healthier! Your cabinets were full of awful stuff, it’s no good for you! Narf!” The mouse replied sweetly.  


“What are we supposed to eat?” Yakko asked, as if he had the upper hand of the debate.  


“Oh, we went shopping today, and got just the thing. We went to Costco, and…” Brain pulled the plastic shopping bag off of a package.  


“We got an industrial-size bag of _food pellets! _They’ll fill you up just fine, and I know Wakko has that hollow leg of his.”  
__

The Warners were fuming with anger. Picking up the mice by their tails, they escorted them to the tower’s door, throwing them out and slamming it shut.  


Their ears folded backwards in response to the loud noise. They stood, dusted themselves off, and started laughing. Their chuckles escalated into guffaws, Pinky’s laughing riddled with ‘poits’ and ‘zorts.’  


They howled as they climbed down the water tower, and they were in stitches when they reached the ground. They chortled as they pulled off their parental costumes.  


“They’ll never bother us again!” Brain bellowed.  


“Did you see their faces? Zort! Poor babies!” Pinky snickered.  


They continued laughing with each other as they walked back to their trailer.  


“Now, Pinky, we’ll be free of their burden by tonight.” Brain calmed, wiping tears from his eyes.  


“Why, Brain, what are we doing tonight?”  


“The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.”


End file.
